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Wednesday, December 2, 2015

White Elephant Creepypasta (Joke Post)

I haven't posted anything in a while and 5yoyo5 gave me an idea for something I can whip up in 5 minutes so here you go
This is a creepypasta that makes fun of creepypastas. It's so bad and poorly written I don't know if it counts as a creepypasta parody. It's a very long read and definitely not worth reading but feel free to waste 20 minutes on it anyway ◦°˚\(*❛‿❛)/˚°◦


I am going insane after what happened 12 days ago and need to tell someone my completely true and not made up story. Every night since then I've been having nightmares about white elephants trying to eat my soul. Joke's on them though, I don't have a soul. So I was decorating my den when my friend came in. That's weird, because I don't have any friends. I was slightly creeped out but I figured I probably paid this guy to be my friend and forgot about it. Well, it turns out he wasn't my friend and was just begging me to "sned him a spice dollar" whatever that means. I went to lock my den, but I realized... my den was already locked! Oh wait no it wasn't. I locked him out and never saw the guy again so he was completely irrelevant to the story and I just wasted your time reading this. After like 2 hours of decorating my den, I accidentally made a stupid and clicked on the "clear den" button. There goes all that hard work and time spent on decorating my den... Eh, it was poorly designed anyway so I didn't really care. Ignoring the fact that I didn't care, I got really angry and smashed my keyboard. I had to go out and buy a new keyboard. See guys, this game breaks keyboards. That is also irrelevant to the story. I went to Aldan to see how many terrible offers I could get for my items and I got like 50 that were just spiked garbage. Seriously guys? Can't you offer me something not terrible and overrated like Ibex Horns? Oh wait those are also terrible and overrated lol
Then I got a Jam a Gram from a strange guy... his username was something I conveniently forgot so no one looks him up after this story is over. Let's call him Kyle because that's the first name that popped into my mind. So Kyle sent me a blank Jam a Gram. It had no picture or words but it had a phantom stamp. Oooooo, spooky
I reported him because he was obviously a hacker... or at least I tried to but there is no option for reporting for hacking. Why, AJ!? So instead I replied with "how did u do that"
He replied using an unreleased Jam a Gram that I didn't take a picture of for some reason with the words "come 2 my den"
You can't even put numbers in Jam a Grams so this guys is definitely a hacker. I went to Johnny or whatever I called him before was. His den was Jamaa Township! Aww, I wish I could make Jamaa Township into my den too... I better learn how to hack games targeted at 8 year olds lol
He had several unreleased items in his den like Werewolf Plushies, Cactus Mountains, Spaghetti, and even a "cursed" claw machine with the name U DIE NOW
He let me trade for the claw so I offered like 57 headdresses because that's all I seem to have these days lol
He accepted and said "you will regret this, Martha" which is weird because my name isn't Martha. I put the claw in my den and my screen flashed red. I ignored it and assumed it was just a glitch because my computer is a piece of junk. It turns out it was just a glitch and was irrelevant to this story just like most of the things I wrote here. I played the claw machine because that's what my life is reduced to. This claw machine had a problem with it (other than the fact it was called U DIE NOW)
The only plushies that were in the claw were white elephants. For some reason I took a picture of this and not any of the important stuff

They all have that blank stare, as if they're all dead... oh wait they weren't alive in the first place, they are digital plushies

I played it and got nothing the first 77 times I played. It was a huge waste of gems and time. The 78th time I also got nothing. So I gave up. This dumb claw was not worth the 9859 headdresses I traded for it. It's not even worth 9 headdresses. However since it rips money off of people, maybe I could use this to make everyone in the world bankrupt while I get rich off their stupidity. So I tried it. I told people to come to my den for a spiked collar giveaway. The whole server went to my den because that's typical Aldaner behavior - if the words "den" and spike" are int he same sentence, it's guaranteed your den will fill up almost instantly. I told everyone to use the claw to win spiked collars. Everyone wasted their gems and then I locked them out. Success! But then I realized something. It's like 5 gems per play... that's like nothing. You can get like 60 gems every 16 seconds from Fruit Slinger. Yeah... no one really lost anything. Later that night, I got a Jam a Gram from someone named XxElephantShrewxX saying "you did a bad thing Martha!" and my computer started to bleed. I didn't think that was possible until it happened. Then a white elephant plushie with empty black eyes jumped out of my screen and onto my bed. It kept happening... I ended up with like 50 of them! It turns out I got an elephant plushie for every person I "scammed"
So I used this to my advantage. I started to sell the elephant plushies on eBay. I started scamming people out of their virtually useless gems to get free white elephant plushies IRL and selling them for real money. I did this for 12 days up until now. As I write this I am going insane. I am so rich that I don't know what to do with my life. I already bought a mansion, a golden toilet, a life-sized exact replica of the moon, and 3 tickets to a concert. The concert tickets were the most expensive thing. I have more money than I know what to do with and it's making me crazy. I can't stop scamming people so my computer illogically prints elephant plushies. Every night I have a dream about them. They are my whole life, or at least they have been for 12 days. As I am writing this I just got another Jam a Gram from XxElephantShrewxX saying "u dumb i haunt u 4 rest of life"
I just heard something moving in the closet... Oh it was just one of my prisoners lol nevermind

91 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry if this gave anyone nightmares

    ReplyDelete
  2. Replies
    1. hey do you want to buy a white elephant plushie

      Delete
    2. Sure Mel! They seem cool!

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    3. sorry i would have to ask my mom first

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    4. i will sell you 4 for the price of 7 if you say yes

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    5. i need a white elephant plush omg :OOO

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  3. THE LONG AWAITED RETURN OF SPICE DOLLARS
    FINALLY

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They should make spice collars though

      Delete
    2. *calls ajhq* Uh, hi. I have a request for like, a new item and stuff. AJHQ Member: lol ok Me: so like there should be like "spice collars" and they are made out of spice and stuff like that :) AJHQ Member: lol k ill tell clerk stecy 4 u lel su liek gte out now u fert

      Delete
  4. ITS SO SCURRY!!1!1!11!1!111!1!!!!!111!1!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. A Golden Toilet

    This thing is useless because when you sit on it it go CRAUSH and cuts up your butt which then falls into the toilet. You get so startled that you accidently flush the toilet and you die. Then you start dancing. << epikal crappypaster

    ReplyDelete
  6. ... in den editing aj shows pet ducks as pets duckys ROFL

    ReplyDelete
  7. Replies
    1. It's not that bad, it adds... nevermind it just rereleased an old den with slight changes, brings back an old animal that no one remembered, and brought back an adventure that was completely unchanged

      Delete
  8. Do you like my new picture? (I stole it from the daily explorer)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes it reminds me of the icon I stole from one of the loading screens

      Delete
    2. I stole the fox from one of the loading screens and made it into a transparent sticker thing.

      I feel GREATER THAN SPIKEZZZZZ

      Delete
  9. ABOUT 98 LINES? :O DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE

    ReplyDelete
  10. pls make a rant about the new update

    ReplyDelete
  11. The update is okay. I hate how AJHQ have changed the Gingerbread Den, well when I say change all they've done is added a garden space and changed the name to Jamaaliday House. Repeated news, deers only went exploring in October, so it's not like they've been gone for ages. Love the adventure, and daily gifts.

    Was the repeated news really necessary? And I noticed they reused a lot of art on the new winter loading screens, the owl screen is super cute though! I'm loving the daily Jamaaliday gifts, been great so far! What about you, Mel? :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I still think 2011's daily gifts were the best but that's just me
      I love the snowglobe hats but those don't count lol

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    2. Yep, the gifts have been okay, I did like last year's gifts better. But they are obviously not putting a lot of work into AJ as they need to focus on Play Wild, which quite clearly gets the best updates, and have done this month :/ Thanks AJHQ? Not trying to be so critical.

      Delete
    3. Ya, the gingerbread house is just a cheap way of making a new den like the haunted mansion or house I forgot what it's called XD

      Delete
  12. LOL! This made me laugh!! I give ya a 10/10 on that, Mel! XD!

    ReplyDelete
  13. muloeayetatta487 aj made minceraft furniture

    ReplyDelete
  14. gift is glitched, its a gingerbread mask (i think) yet it doesn't show up and its called necklace, then jamaaday earmuffs, then wreath necklace???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It has no name so its name will display as the last item's name that you moused over. Mine is right next to my Snowglobe Hats so that's what mine is usually called. Next time you log in, try making the gingerbread mask the first item you mouse over and it will have a name like #6589
      If you wear it on a wolf it doesn't show up

      Delete
    2. New glitched item confirmed. It's worth 1 Jackyb0y spice dollar

      Delete
    3. you can't give something a negative value

      Delete
    4. I trade requested it to a storage and it was called change eyes
      I must've been changing my animal lol

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    5. Omg it's like 71 XD

      Delete
  15. Mel, what's your new AJ name? And could you please help me gain more items for an item collection because I turned nonmember a while back?
    -littlesweetcupcake

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. tru

      What do I do to be a successful item collector?

      Delete
    2. I 2011 I bought 5 of every item in every color which seems to pay off everyone now and then but I don't recommend doing that now since there is a new item every day and AJ doesn't like storage accounts anymore. Try buying seasonal items that no one else buys because those eventually get "rare" (heart rings, jamaaliday antlers, and ibex horns) and people will trade spiked garbage for those. Spiked garbage is the key

      Delete
    3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
    4. I shall take your advice

      Earlier, I was in jamaa township protesting against the restriction of non member movement. I think I'm admired.

      Delete
    5. Drumroll...
      I have got a Blogger account now.
      (Yes, I'm that above anonymoose who asked that)
      Teach me the ways to master the art of blogging oh wise one.

      Delete
    6. I don't even know the ways of blogging lol
      I just type words and hope they make sense

      Delete
    7. Maybe
      But you do know how to make item sidebars and take screenshots and how to make new pages (like unreleased items)

      Delete
    8. For sidebar images go to Design » Layout » Add a Gadget
      For pages go to Design » Pages » New page

      Taking screenshots depends on the type of computer you have

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    9. HP laptop
      I know how to take the screenshots but IDK where to find them

      Delete
    10. Make a folder and save them to that folder?

      Delete
    11. my advice is search it on google (worked for me lol)

      Delete
    12. Still don't know
      I need to take a photo of Gift 8 sparkle

      Delete
  16. animal jam is usually just a bunch of people against members

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. tru
      Not to mention the demand in spinal fluid

      Delete
  17. Have you ever tried a minecraft server it's called Edawg
    The ip is Edawg878.com and I go on out a lot

    ReplyDelete
  18. How do you change the icon for your website (like the one thats not the blogger sign)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't actually remember, I haven't changed mine for like 4 years

      Delete
    2. the favicon? I think u go to layout and on the top right of the display (for the layout of the blog) there is favicon setting or something idk. it kinda gives a general location of where it might be.

      if you can't figure it out, just google it I guess.

      Delete
  19. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Would've been hilarious if headdresses came back last month

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  20. Replies
    1. I started early
      In 2010/early 2011 there was only 1 main AJ blogger (Fuzzy Shyivy)
      She quit and everyone needed a new blog so they found mine I guess
      But now it's not as popular as it used to be

      Delete
    2. How did Walcynows's blog get so popular then? You know who I mean...

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    3. Probably from that "movement" thing she did a while back. Pretty sure she told people to repost someone in their blogs linking to hers, basically giving her free advertising

      Delete
    4. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_WWDBNEMhXpU/TIayD5TJ3kI/AAAAAAAABBU/aoNnirZUiNc/s1600/aj+new+map+places.jpg

      Wow. It... Looks... So... Bare............

      Delete
  21. Is this jackyboy
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0o3xn63K8k

    ReplyDelete
  22. I just love that creepypasta! I think I just saw an elephant plushies fly right by my head

    ReplyDelete

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